ADHD & therapeutic coaching —
a different way forward

Many of the people I work with who have ADHD are thoughtful, self-aware and highly capable. They have often read widely about ADHD, know themselves reasonably well, and understand why they do the things they do.

And yet — they still feel stuck. Still struggle with the same patterns. Still find the gap between knowing and doing frustratingly wide.

That gap is exactly where therapeutic coaching can help.

What ADHD can feel like as an adult

ADHD in adults is often much more complex than the stereotypes suggest. It is rarely just about finding it hard to concentrate or sit still. For many people it involves:

• A busy, fast-moving mind that is hard to slow down or direct
• Difficulty translating intention into action — knowing what you need to do but not doing it
• Emotional intensity — feeling things more strongly and finding it harder to regulate
• A long history of self-criticism — feeling like you should be able to do things that others seem to manage easily
• Low self-esteem built up over years of struggling in environments not designed for the way your brain works
• Masking — expending enormous energy appearing to cope, while feeling exhausted underneath

For those who receive a diagnosis in adulthood, there can also be a complex process of making sense of what that means — reframing a lifetime of experiences through a new lens, and working out who you are and what you actually need.

Why traditional approaches don't always resonate

Many people with ADHD have tried CBT or other traditional therapeutic approaches and found them helpful to a point — but not quite the right fit. CBT tends to focus on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts, which can feel effortful and counterintuitive for an ADHD brain that already knows its thoughts aren't always helpful.

This is one of the reasons I have a particular interest in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) when working with clients who have ADHD. Rather than trying to change or eliminate difficult thoughts and feelings, ACT invites you to notice them, accept them as part of your experience, and — crucially — not let them automatically drive your behaviour.

Why ACT can work well with ADHD

ACT fits well with the ADHD experience for several reasons. It does not ask you to suppress or argue with your thoughts — it asks you to observe them with a degree of distance and curiosity. For a mind that generates many thoughts quickly, this can feel far more workable than trying to slow or control the flow.

ACT also places a strong emphasis on values — what genuinely matters to you — and on taking committed action in the direction of those values, even when difficult thoughts and feelings are present. This can be genuinely helpful for people who struggle with motivation that is interest-based rather than deadline-driven.

Research is increasingly supporting the use of ACT for adults with ADHD, with studies showing improvements in self-acceptance, psychological flexibility and quality of life. It is an approach that works with the ADHD brain rather than against it.

The power of acceptance

In my experience, one of the most powerful shifts for people with ADHD is acceptance — not in the sense of giving up or resigning yourself to difficulty, but in the sense of genuinely acknowledging and making peace with the way your brain works.

So much energy can go into fighting against ADHD, being frustrated by it, or feeling ashamed of it. Acceptance doesn't mean you stop wanting things to be different — it means you stop spending so much energy on the struggle itself, and start directing that energy somewhere more useful.

This shift — from fighting against yourself to working with yourself — is often where real momentum begins.

Building on strengths

A significant part of the work I do with clients who have ADHD is helping them identify and build on their strengths — because there are many.

The ADHD brain can bring creativity, energy, the ability to hyperfocus on things that matter, original thinking and a genuine passion for ideas. These are not consolation prizes — they are real, valuable qualities that often get overlooked when the focus is entirely on managing difficulties.

Part of therapeutic coaching is helping people recognise what they are actually good at, understand the conditions in which they thrive, and build their lives and work in ways that play to those strengths rather than constantly working against them.

Understanding what helps — and what doesn't

One of the most practical aspects of the coaching work is helping people build greater awareness of what helps their focus, energy and wellbeing — and what gets in the way.

This looks different for everyone. For some people it is about understanding their best times of day for different tasks. For others it is about identifying the environments in which they work well, or the kinds of structure that support rather than constrain them. For others still it is about communication — learning to articulate their needs clearly to the people around them, whether at work or at home.

This kind of self-knowledge is not always easy to develop — particularly for people who have spent years adapting to what others need from them rather than what they need for themselves. But it is genuinely useful, and it builds over time.

Late diagnosis — making sense of a new understanding

For those who receive a diagnosis of ADHD in adulthood, the experience can be a mixture of relief, grief, and confusion. Relief at finally having an explanation. Grief for the years spent not understanding why things felt so hard. Confusion about what it means going forward and who you actually are outside of the struggle.

Therapeutic coaching can offer a valuable space to process all of this — to make sense of your story in light of a new understanding, to let go of narratives that no longer serve you, and to begin building a clearer, kinder picture of yourself.

Taking time to understand yourself — who you are, how you work, what you value — is not a luxury. For people with ADHD, it is often foundational to everything else.

Working with young people

I also work with young people with ADHD, where the focus is often on building self-understanding, confidence and practical strategies during what can be a particularly challenging time. Adolescence and early adulthood can be especially difficult when you are still making sense of how your brain works — and having a supportive, structured space to explore that can make a real difference.

If you are a parent looking for support for a young person, please do get in touch to discuss whether this approach may be suitable.

A final thought

ADHD does not define you, but understanding it can change everything. When you stop trying to be someone whose brain works differently to yours, and start working with the brain you actually have, things begin to shift.

That is what therapeutic coaching offers — not a fix, not a set of tips and tricks, but a genuinely supportive space to understand yourself more fully, build on what you have, and take purposeful steps toward the life you want to be living.